The Beast of Burton

I was always happy to show-off my perfectly sculpted body until the thing showed up. It was a beast, and it made me ashamed. I tried and I tired to make it go away, but it only got bigger. I finally went to the dermatologist and asked for a diagnosis.

"It's a clogged oil duct," said the doctor, looking at my mid-back.

"What do you mean, a big zit?" I asked.

"Well, yes and no," said the doctor. "It's like a zit, but it's much deeper under the skin. It won't pop, it will stay with you unless you have it removed."

That was five years ago.

Sure enough, five years later, the beast was still there. At least until earlier today.

I arrived on time to my 10:30 appointment to have my cyst excised, and the nurse promptly showed me to the "procedure room."

"Take your shirt off and lie down there," instructed the nurse.

I complied with her request. Then she stuck a big blue patch to my side.

"That's so you don't get a shock," said the nurse.

"Wha?" I said.

"A shock," said the nurse. "They'll need to cauterize and the grounding pad prevents you from being shocked."

Great, I thought to myself.

"The doctor will be with you in a minute," said the nurse.

Sure enough, the doctor and another nurse soon entered the room.

"Oh, that must be the critter right there," said the doctor, touching the beast as she spoke.

"Uh, yep," I said.

The doctor then requested a pen from the nurse and drew something on my back around the cyst. She could have drawn a face for all I know.

"This is going to sting a little," said the doctor as she shot-up my back with local anesthesia.

Less than 5 minutes later the doctor asked me to tell her if I felt any pain as she created an incision. Surprisingly, I felt nothing. Seems this anesthetic works better than what the dentist gives me.

The doctor was going to town. I could hear her scissors cutting, and I clutched the table.

"Are you breathing over there?" the doctor asked me.

"Yes. Well, maybe not," I said. "But I'm alive. I can hear you cutting," I said.

"How are you doing?" the doctor asked.

"Uhhh, fine," I replied. "Just wondering what you are doing, but don't tell me, I don't want to know."

"You are going to loose some weight," the nurse said with a laugh.

"You are having a baby," said the doctor.

"Yes, I'm embarrassed what my body has created," I said.

"So, how's your daughter?" the nurse asked the doctor.

"Oh she's doing great. She's in China right now with a friend. My daughter is better traveled than her mother," said the doctor.

I tried to interject in the conversation, but they didn't really find my contributions interesting.

Then I heard a crackling sound and I smelled somethng burning. Nasty smell I thought, then I realized I was smelling my own burning flesh. The doctor just cauterized the incision.

Eventually I heard them talking about different stitch techniques, so I knew they were sewing me up.

"Ok, all done," said the doctor. "We'll have the piece examined by a pathologist and the office will call you with the results."

For a second there I almost asked to see the piece, but I thought better of it.

"Uh, okay," I said. "Thanks, doctor."

The nurse wiped down the incision and put a bandage over it.

"Ok, you are good to go," she said.

I put my shirt on and walked out of the room feeling extremely violated. Then I made my appointment to return to have my stitches removed.

What a day, and it's only 11:00 a.m.

The Oregon Coast

I packed up my stuff, headed out of downtown Portland and drove north on I-5 into Washington. In Kelso, I turned onto Hwy 4 and again headed west along the Columbia River. The road hugged the riverbank most of the way, and eventually I hit the Washington coastline.

At the intersection of Hwy 4 and U.S. 101, predictably the fog set in. At this point I had planned to go out to Cape Disappointment, but the fog was so thick I was sure I'd see almost nothing, so I headed south back into Oregon. I crossed the Astoria-Megler bridge hoping to find an interesting port city, but Astoria was seemingly bland so I continued my adventure south. Soon enough, I was in the town of Seaside, OR, a beach town popular with the tourists. To make matters more interesting, the annual Seaside Beach Volleyball Tournament was happening this weekend.

I cruised the town, but the thick crowds were getting me down. The weather was cool, too, as the fog hovered over the beach. It didn't take long to see the sights, so I got back on the road on my way to Cannon Beach.


















Now this was a beautiful beach, and wouldn't you know it, it was sunny here. Just five miles south of Seaside, the world was different. Cannon Beach is wide open with amazing scenery and smaller crowds, even on this beautiful Sunday when temperatures were forecasted to be in the 90s just 75 miles away in Portland. And what a great village. I will be back here in the not too distant future.

As I walked the beach, I waded into the Pacific Ocean to get closer to Haystack Rock, a 235-foot tall coastal monolith.


















Yep, the water was cold, but there were many people swimming without wetsuits. Of course, all the surfers did wear wet suits.

One observation I made as I viewed the Oregon coast was how froth-free the surf was. I mean, sure, the waves had whitecaps and there was some foam as the water came in, but it wasn't as frothy I've seen lately along the California coast in recent years. It made me wonder how polluted the waters of California really are. Then I decided I better not think about it.

After making my rounds, snapping some photos and having a leisurely lunch, I made my way east. Although I didn't have much time, I did make a swing through the Willamette Valley wine country before pulling into the Portland Airport for my journey back to California.

Columbia River Gorge

After heading the 6 miles down the road from Timbeline Lodge and Mt. Hood, my plan was to drive east a few more miles on Hwy 26 and catch Hwy 35 north up to Hood River, OR. But as soon as I got to the junction of of Hwy 26 and 35, I saw that Hwy 35 was closed due to a slide. Now I had to improvise so I found a detour. It was a longer route, but I made it up north to the Columbia River and turned west toward the Columbia River Gorge. After passing though The Dalles and Hood River, the real scenery began. This place is amazing.























After driving past several dams and enjoying the 4,000 foot high walls of the Gorge, things got even better. Along the Historic Columbia River Highway there is a series of seven amazing waterfalls, most of which are easily accessed just off the road. The first of which was Horsetail Falls -- so close and so tall I couldn't event fit the whole falls into one picture!

Then came the crown jewels of the area, Multnomah Falls. This place was a spectacle, and the word was out. I could tell by the crowds.

I spent the rest of the day hiking up to the top of Multnomah Falls and exploring the area before heading back into Portland and enjoying the Manager's Reception at the Embassy Suites.

Overlook Hotel

My alarm sounded at 4:20 a.m. and I pulled myself out of bed and jumped into the shower. Before you knew it, I was out the door and at the San Francisco airport and heading through the heightened security. I checked everything in order to avoid a strip search, and surprisingly I got through the line pretty quickly. I had some extra time prior to my 6:55 a.m. departure, but it was too early for a cocktail so I opted for a cup o' Joe at the Peet's stand.

Fortunately we departed on schedule and landed in Portland right around 8:30 a.m. I collected my bag and then headed over to the Budget counter for my rental car.

"Let's see, sir. Oh yes, your Chrysler Sebring is in F-25," said the attendant.

"Um, actually I think I had a Mustang convertible," I said.

"Yes, you have a Mustang convertible or comparable car. Besides, you'll enjoy the Sebring's handling much better than the Mustang," she said.

I'll be the judge of that, I thought to myself.

I found the car, loaded my bag and headed out eastbound. After less than an hour drive, I was high on the banks of Mt. Hood and I pulled up to Timberline Lodge. The parking lot was more full than I had expected for a summer day. But after I got out of my car and got a closer look, I saw why. You see, ski season hasn't yet ended at Timberline. At $43 a pop, you too, could spend a summer day skiing and boarding on this Oregon volcano.


















After checking out the resort and lodge where they filmed exterior shots for the fictitious "Overlook Hotel" in the movie The Shining, I peeled down the convertible top and hit the road once again.

Sonoma County birthday

My brother Glenn and his wife Maria came up to the Bay Area this weekend with their entourage to celebrate Glenn's birthday. I met them at the Dry Creek General Store near the home of my sister to partake in the Saturday festivities.

After some lunch, we headed over to Quivira Vineyards for some wine tasting. Quivira is a favorite of my Dad, and my sister's roommate Adam is Cellar Master there. Good old Adam even pulled some strings so that we got a healthy discount off our wine purchases.

Our next stop was Bella Vineyards. This small winery is also in the heart of Dry Creek Valley and dug its own caves for wine storage. As we were told at the winery, the caves came at a huge upfront cost for development, but they save the winery bundles of cash every year on cooling costs. In fact, the underground caves average a constant 55 degree temperature, so they have no cooling costs at all.

We finished our day at Ferrari-Carano Vineyards, which is much more Napa-like than the other two wineries we visited. While Ferrari-Carano boasts an impressive estate and beautiful gardens, the tasting room was large and crowded, unlike the intimate settings we experienced at Quivira and Bella. However, Ferrari-Carano is a must see for those who don't get into Sonoma County much, and their Zinfandel is excellent!

Another reason why my glass in half empty

Forget the unrest in the Middle East, how do we ever recover from this?...

http://www.latimes.com/news/local/oceans/la-oceans-series,0,7842752.special