Proper equipment

Tonight was week #3 in the Palo Alto Bowl Summer League. Now that things are in full swing and all the rookies like me are in tune with the rules, traditions and culture of the league, things are much more comfortable. And much to my chagrin, I even have to admit I'm getting used to all the touching that goes on during the games. All the high fives, low fives, fist pounding and other congratulatory fondling is getting downright comical. I feel like I've just won the Super Bowl after every toss of the bowling ball. I hope I don't let all this loving go to my head!

This week we played a team of regulars who have been playing the the league for a long time. How could I tell? Well, one tip was when one of our opponents, Mohammad, rolled up a rack of nine bowling balls to our lane.

"Are those all yours?," I asked.

"Yep," said Mohammad. "A man needs the proper equipment."

Mohammad proceeded to try several different bowling balls during warm up, but he couldn't seem to narrow it down to less than seven different balls. In fact, most league players use at least two balls; one for their initial toss, and a different ball used to pick up spares.

"Are these all of your bowling balls?," I asked Mohammad.

"Oh no," he said.

"How many do you have?" I asked.

"Over 40," he said. "You need different balls for different conditions."

"Yeah, like for when it's raining, right?" I asked, with a sarcastic tone.

As he sipped a glass of Tequilia, Mohammad went on to tell me the differences between the lanes on the Professional Bowlers Tour and those in you average alley. I wished I had never asked. Luckily for me, the call then came over the bowling alley intercom to start the match.

We began to bowl. Lynne, one of our team's two veterans, began her game with a strike. Then she got another on her next frame. Then another. Then another. Lynne started her game with four consecutive strikes.

"Well, I can't talk to you anymore," I said, acknowledging her perfect game. The next frame Lynne missed her strike. Maybe I whammied her. Nevertheless, Lynne hit strikes in 8 of her 10 frames, even capping the 10th frame with strikes in her two extra balls. She ended up with a 245, shattering her previous high game of 206.

I'm starting to get into this. I might need to buy me a ball and some shoes rather than using the house gear. I can't wait until next week...

A gallon of gas

Where on earth did Hillary Clinton and John McCain come up with the idea for a "gas tax vacation" to help alleviate the pain on consumers from steadily rising gas prices? The very idea proves just how short-sighted both candidates are, and I give Barack Obama big kudos for having the guts to oppose the idea. But being a contrarian, I'll go one step further. Not only should we not go on a gas tax vacation, we should raise the gas tax. I suggest we raise it at least one dollar.

Why raise gas taxes, you ask?

1) High gas prices are finally getting people to think twice about unnecessary trips, and that's already increasing the use of public transportation and cutting down on fuel consumption. And that helps in our fight against global warming.

2) Increased gas tax funds could be used to improve our public transportation systems and other programs in need of money. Many countries around the world already do this, why don't we?

3) The more we increase the gas tax, the less the Arabs and other oil producing countries will be able to charge us for crude. Though we may not have found it yet, there is a ceiling in how much consumers and businesses will pay for fuel, and gas prices will continue to quickly climb until that plateau is reached. The United States needs to get in the game now and take some of that profit margin before the chance is lost.

Do I need to go on?

RIP

As I walked out of the house today I saw a freshly dead squirrel sprawled at the end of my driveway. He was practically in the exact place I had seen a squirrel land a few years ago after being knocked out of the palm tree that stands 40 feet above. Could it be the same squirrel? Maybe he wasn't so lucky this time.

Initially, I let him lie, assuming that the ravens that frequent the neighborhood would make quick work of him. But when I saw his eyeballs intact later this afternoon with only flies swirling overhead, I decided to give this big old squirrel a proper burial. I dug a hole under the walnut tree in my backyard, and Mr. Squirrel now rests there. That's probably a pretty good place for him anyway, as that tree will be the party spot for all of the local squirrels in a few months when the walnuts are ripe for the taking.

Take the skinhead bowling

Somehow I talked into joining a team in Palo Alto Bowl's summer league, and tonight was the first night. Before the action started, all league participants were assembled in a back room to confirm teams and review the league rules. Aye caramba, I couldn't help feeling like I was in traffic school!

After the painful meeting, we made our way over to the lanes. I was one of two new rookies on our team, so I soaked up the scene before joining the fun. During the 15 minute warm-up, the other team seemed to hog to lanes, so I just backed off and watched. I'm used to throwing my fist game cold turkey anyway, so it didn't much matter.

Eventually the other team introduced themselves and the three-game match started. It wasn't long before the other team was high fiving, low fiving and constantly touching one another. I was not used to this, and everyone quickly noticed my frigidity. Call me crazy, but I'm not into rubbing flesh with strangers when I pick-up a hapless spare. Let me at least get a strike first!

Well, it took well over three hours to complete the traffic school meeting and three games of bowling. This is going to be a long summer...