I saw Elvis at the cleaners at noontime

I remember back in my college days when Mojo Nixon was popular among my demographic. He penetrated the alternative college music scene with songs like, "I'm in Love with Your Grilfriend" and "Moanin' with Your Mama." One of my favorites Mojo tunes was "Jesus at McDonalds," where he blurts out, "I saw Jesus at McDonald's at midnight!"

Well, I couldn't help but think of that song today. You see, I swear I saw Elvis at the cleaners at noontime.

I've seen Elvis before, though. And if anyone is looking for him, you can find him living right accross the street from my cleaners at the Palo Alto Hotel. His new handle is "James Swyner," at least according to the pigs (no pun intended).

The Palo Alto Hotel is one of these places that rents by the day, week or month. Sorry, they don't have hourly rates -- it's just not that kind of a place. But seedy hotels like this do provide affordable housing for those who might otherwise find short-term shelter too expensive, especially if they are subject to the revolving door of the County Jail or find it difficult to provide adequate references.

Elvis hasn't been up to much good over the years. A quick scan of the California Registered Sex Offender website indicates that James "Elvis" Swyner is indeed living at 425 Emerson St. And his rap sheet includes violations for "lewd and lascivious acts with a child under 14 years of age."