Style points
I was driving home from Safeway around 6:00 p.m. this afternoon when I attempted to pull into the illegal parking space in front of my house. Usually no one has the guts to park there, so on a weekend that's my personal spot. But no such luck tonight...
I could see the headlights and the interior lights on from the car parked there. Just as I passed, I saw a folicly challenged man (like me) get out of the passenger seat and start walking down the sidewalk. I didn't recognize him, but he appeared to know where he was going, and he was hustling. As I pulled into a parking space a few yards up the street, I could see the man quickly walk out of sight.
I got out of my car and began removing some groceries when I heard a woman from the car yell, "Are you serious?"
I ignored her, assuming that she was talking to someone else. After all, paranoid schitzopherenia is practically contagious around here.
As I got a few bags together, I could see the woman walking toward me. She appeared to have a bit of a swagger. Now my guess is that alcohol is involved.
"So, what are you, the biggest jerk on this planet?" she says, looking my direction.
That's funny, I thought to myself. That's what I was going to ask her for parking in my personal illegal parking spot. Still assuming she was talking to someone else, I did not respond. Then she got about 15 feet from me and again asked, "Are you serious about this?"
I looked straight at her and asked, "Are you talking to me?"
"Yes," she said.
Then, as she got closer, she could see I was not her chrome-domed boyfriend. I was just another random chrome dome on the street. (Now I know how the Mexicans must feel!)
"Uhhhh," I could here her sigh as she realized who I wasn't. She continued to walk down the street but her boyfriend was gone, probably on Caltrain by now. "I can't believe this," she said under her breath.
The woman turned around and walked back past me as I brought my groceries to my house. "Sorry," she said, acknowledging her misguided rudeness earlier.
"No problem," I said. "I've been called a jerk lots of times."
She walked back to her car and I walked into my house.
As she drove away, I stopped to ponder the moment. Her boyfriend had just dumped her and pulled the instant split. She pulled over and he just took off -- didn't even look back.
Flawless execution.
Extra points for style.
I could see the headlights and the interior lights on from the car parked there. Just as I passed, I saw a folicly challenged man (like me) get out of the passenger seat and start walking down the sidewalk. I didn't recognize him, but he appeared to know where he was going, and he was hustling. As I pulled into a parking space a few yards up the street, I could see the man quickly walk out of sight.
I got out of my car and began removing some groceries when I heard a woman from the car yell, "Are you serious?"
I ignored her, assuming that she was talking to someone else. After all, paranoid schitzopherenia is practically contagious around here.
As I got a few bags together, I could see the woman walking toward me. She appeared to have a bit of a swagger. Now my guess is that alcohol is involved.
"So, what are you, the biggest jerk on this planet?" she says, looking my direction.
That's funny, I thought to myself. That's what I was going to ask her for parking in my personal illegal parking spot. Still assuming she was talking to someone else, I did not respond. Then she got about 15 feet from me and again asked, "Are you serious about this?"
I looked straight at her and asked, "Are you talking to me?"
"Yes," she said.
Then, as she got closer, she could see I was not her chrome-domed boyfriend. I was just another random chrome dome on the street. (Now I know how the Mexicans must feel!)
"Uhhhh," I could here her sigh as she realized who I wasn't. She continued to walk down the street but her boyfriend was gone, probably on Caltrain by now. "I can't believe this," she said under her breath.
The woman turned around and walked back past me as I brought my groceries to my house. "Sorry," she said, acknowledging her misguided rudeness earlier.
"No problem," I said. "I've been called a jerk lots of times."
She walked back to her car and I walked into my house.
As she drove away, I stopped to ponder the moment. Her boyfriend had just dumped her and pulled the instant split. She pulled over and he just took off -- didn't even look back.
Flawless execution.
Extra points for style.
posted by Leroy at
6:44 PM
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